The major portion of my trip was spent getting a start on cleaning out a house that neither parent will ever see again.
My Mom was a knitter. She learned to knit when I was a baby and taught me when I was around 6. She said she liked "something to pick up in the evenings" and knitting certainly filled the bill. Over the years she made lots of sweaters, purses, coats, etc.
Most of them I threw away last weekend.
She was born in 1913, married in 1930 - a true Depression woman. She was of the generation that saved her best for "someday" and used everyday items until there was (quite literally) nothing left. I threw away bags & bags of her "best" that had become unusable while waiting for that nebulous "someday."
Like me, she bought lots of yarn on sale. Unfortunately, when her mind started slipping years ago, the bags of yarn just sat & moldered. She wouldn't pass them on to someone who could use them, because in her mind she still *could* use the yarn. She was just waiting for "someday" when she was feeling a little better, thinking a little clearer & her arthritic hands didn't hurt so much.
I know almost all of us joke about "SABLE" - stash acquisition beyond life expectancy. (Although I'll be darned if I ever use that acronym!) And, as my title states, "He/She who dies with the most yarn wins."
I would argue that "He/She who dies after thoroughly enjoying their yarn & projects, wins."
Folks, I tossed 3 bags full of slippers - 3 different styles, 3 different bags. Not one pair had been used. Beautiful mohair sweaters that had never seen the light of day. Several wool sweaters, heavily cabled, that I never knew she made. She could've shown me - shared with me - why she didn't I'll never know.
I know she enjoyed the knitting process - it's just a shame to me that she never enjoyed the finished product as well.
So - just a reminder - knit it, wear it, revel in it. Take out your bags/boxes/totes of stash, dump them & roll in it. Enjoy the colors, feel the texture, forget the price. Knit like the wind & USE what flies off your needles.
Give it away & share your passion.
Don't wait - let your "someday" be now.
Hey girlie, I've been thinking about you. Sounds like you've been holding vigil with some tough realities. I'm sorry you have this before you.
Your description of your mom's thinking makes me think you've been tooling around in my pea brain. I have, however, recently recognized this pattern and been able to throw some things away. In fact, I recently decided that the crappy yarn in my stash is what prevents me from finishing projects. It's a mojo thing. So I'm going to put it all in a plastic bag, weigh it down with old sand filled D cup bras and toss it in the river.
Posted by: marcia | June 23, 2004 at 07:47 AM
Hey there Bron....Ah yes, "skewed thinking", that's what I call it. I find *myself* doing this after years of my mother's training...Someday frequently never comes around...it's always just out of our grasp. I have begun telling myself (and any others who will sit still long enough to listen!) "life is short...don't wait until you are thinner, happier, wealthier, whatever, live it today". It helps some...yet I still hear my mother's voice..."now put this away and *someday* you'll have it.." True. But will I have enjoyed it? Thanks for the reminder Bron, I'm over 40 now, I need all the reminders I can get! :) L
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon | June 23, 2004 at 08:21 AM
And nothing could be salvaged? How sad, for us all and for her memories.
My Grams got Parkinsons, then went into a home, then passed. She had knitted (and sewed) her entire life; that was how she got the sweaters, coats, skirts, etc, for her wardrobe. She was quite frugal with money, saving it for her 'twilight years'. Anywho...she took excellent care of her sweaters, etc. When we went thru the house, not much yarn, but beautiful sweaters in great condition-more than anyone could wear. Several of her neighbors actually made requests for specific ones, and were willing to pay! My aunt and I kept many, but some went on to make other people happy. She lives on in spirit...
Posted by: Knittykim | June 23, 2004 at 08:24 AM
Oh, boy -- that Depression era thinking. I've seen it in action with my grandmother (a plastic bag and rubberband saver of epic proportions), and my mother-in-law ("Oh, that's too fancy. I'll never use it. My old coat will work for another season.") The Depression had such an incredible effect on that entire generation's thinking (save, save, save for a rainy day).
I don't know where I'm going with this except to say I'm glad you're home and I'm glad you know to enjoy your yarn and knitting *now* ... not later.
Posted by: Amy | June 23, 2004 at 09:24 AM
Wow, I have those tendencies as well, handed down to me by a mother who loves to collect things. Patterns she'll never knit, yarn she'll never use, etc. etc. Its one of the main reasons I try to keep my stash manageable. I'm afriad I'll start hoarding for "someday." I also force myself to reach for my own hand knit sweaters as often as possible. Its such a shame your mom didn't enjoy what she made. Its a feeling like no other. :)
Posted by: Sharlene | June 23, 2004 at 01:14 PM
Boy - given my frame of mind for the last few days, your post couldn't have come at a better time. I've got some lovely stuff in the closet waiting until "I know what I'm doing" before I touch it. I think it's about time I broke it out and started playing with it. After all, I didn't buy it so it could sit there, unloved.
Thanks for the kick in the butt :)
Posted by: Robbyn | June 23, 2004 at 02:48 PM
Marcia - yep - those tendencies abound in me. Luckily I've been able to throw out & garage sale most of my excess. I just hope I can continue to do that through the years!
Lisa - exactly. :::grin:::
Kim - no, nothing salvagable - damp/mold/dirt had done a thorough job of ruining everything. I do still have some things she knit for me here and that'll have to do.
Amy - don't get me started on all the bread bags we threw away! And itty bitty bits of paper...well, itty bitty bits of everything, really. Amazing how so many people can think alike having lived through those times.
I agree, Sharlene - I have to keep reminding myself that I'm NOT my mother & I don't have to "do" as she did. But I usually have no problem using/wearing things I've knit. I love it when a pattern & yarn come together just as I envisioned. :)
That's me, Robbyn - butt-kicker extraordinaire. (I have my card around here someplace...grin)
Posted by: Bron | June 23, 2004 at 03:20 PM
yes Bron - life is to short - what a difficult job for a knitter to do. thanks you for sharing with us at this difficualt time. Cheers
Posted by: Nathalie | June 23, 2004 at 04:09 PM
I'm a bit teary-eyed. These are wise words, Bron.
Posted by: Sharon | June 23, 2004 at 09:24 PM
My grandmother is 91-1/2 (today!). Among her many interests is watercolor painting. She hasn't put brush to paper in many a year, but her block, brushes and sketchbook stand at the ready on the studio table, waiting for the day when she does feel inspired. Personally, I think it's part of what helps her get through each day -- a hope that there will be a tomorrow and that there will be something she can do. If she wants to. If not, there's always tomorrow...
Posted by: Vicki | June 24, 2004 at 12:05 PM
Thanks, Sharon. :)
Vicki - Yes, there's something to be said for "maybe tomorrow" if it gives someone a reason to keep going. I wish all those projects & that yarn had done that for my mother. Sigh.
Posted by: Bron | June 24, 2004 at 12:30 PM